2015 started off at quite a pace and has not relented much.

About four weeks ago, I came down with a nasty cold. It knocked my socks off. It hung around for the best part of a fortnight and I spent three days in bed. I even resorted to visiting the doctor at my wit's end and worried about heart palpitations. I got through it but not without great frustration and a realisation – I'm not well and not taking care of myself. Plus, if I kept eating this amount of raw garlic I would be single pretty soon.

Aside from getting my ass kicked by a cold virus in the middle of summer, my great strides to ditch my extra padding and return to some sort of fitness had halted. Weight plateaued, anxiety replaced energy and concentration were levels all over the shop. I figured it was time to get help so I booked a session with a personal trainer at my gym. Our first meeting happened tonight.

Thunderbolts of lightning

We chatted for the best part of the hour. I'm reeling since I got home 2 hours ago and I think I've processed why.

ONE He talked about me "fixing" me and prioritising my health. It's exactly what I need to do but hearing it was weird and unexpectedly emotive. I am terrible at prioritising myself. That was lightning bold number one.

TWO The second was that I came out of it with two unexpected goals for the first week:

1. Fix my sleep
2. Work on my soft tissue knots (not as gross as it sounds)

No gruelling diet changes or workout regime. My sleep quality has gotten really poor, shifting to a later nights that result in later mornings which is ultimately disastrous. I'm rushing to write this as I'm supposed to be in my "technology sunset" – zero screens or blue lights for an hour before lights out. That's lights out at 11.30pm with an ultimate goal of 10pm. That's right 10pm bed time. Tech is ruining our sleep patterns. Or rather, we're letting it ruin sleep for us.

This will be an interesting one and possibly the toughest to achieve given how hard it is to break old habits and detach ourselves from the cherished glowing totems. Oh and I share a bed with a complete nightowl.

THREE I am the only person who can fix this. Nobody else can do this for me.

Opening up

In my various attempts at better health and habits, I've found others talking openly about their journeys encouraging and helpful. I'm hoping writing openly about my experience will help me stay focused and open it up to tips, advice and support.

I'm already 20 mins behind wind down. To the sanctuary.